Lipish

Sorry, I don’t speak lipish…you know the act of conveying a message from across a room by moving one’s lips without actually uttering a sound. People do it when they don’t want others to know what they’re saying, unfortunately, I usually have no idea either.  

Oh I can figure out words like “HELP ME” or “OK”, but I don’t do sentences well. So when lipish is spoken at me, my response is usually a shrug of the shoulders and the raising of my hands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  That often causes the pantomimist to glare back at me as if I was attempting to eat soup with a fork. 

Their second effort at communication is even less comprehensible. The idea that a slower, more assertive offering with overdramatized lip, tongue and mouth movements will clarify their words is really no help. They just look like a fish out of water gasping for air. 

My response remains, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. 

So in a fit of aggravation they make one last attempt. With eyes bulging as if afflicted with Graves’ disease, they silently scream the message with malice aforethought.  Channeling the body language of demon possession, they cause me to wonder why I even hang around with such a person. 

Again, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry!

I do understand what typically follows at this point…that universal shake of the head and wave of the hand which commonly means, “Forget it, I’m done with you!”

Acknowledging their wave off with a “hmph”, I can’t help but think how much easier this could have been if they had just passed me a note.   

Just sayin…(ツ)